It Had To Be You?
by XX-Samantha-XX
Summary: ‘Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you.' My own take on the first episode, be warned, there are spoilers here. Slight Tiva!
1. Chapter 1

_Characters aren't mine, if they were Tony would have gotten beaten up a little more than he did. _

_I really couldn't resist writing this as it was such an awesome episode. Involves a little Tiva. And will have two or three parts. Most of it is planned and the other chapters are coming along well for my other stories. This just had to be written. Have fun and review. Spoilers for 7x01 Truth or consequences. _

**It Had To Be You?**

**Chapter One**

'_Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you.'_

Question or statement?

He couldn't tell.

Something she wanted, maybe, the desire that it had to be him to do it so they could be okay again, so that they could fix their somewhat lust filled working relationship. Maybe, they both wished it could be more than what it had been, maybe, it was just him. He didn't know. Maybe, _that_ is why it had to be him, so that she could start to forgive him for his own actions against her.

But then, did she actually want him there now to save her, was she so far gone that she didn't believe people would actually want to save her.

Well, the rest of the stumbling conversation answered many of those questions. The tone in her voice giving nothing away, just held a hint of hope maybe, he wasn't so sure. She'd been speaking with all the manner of it being the end, her final conversation. With such finality that it cut right through him.

It wasn't that she believed she shouldn't be saved, worse; it was that she'd fully accepted it. As if she hadn't mattered, almost as if she'd actually deserved it. But she mattered to him. That much he _did_ know.

She'd been willing and waiting for an end to everything, even believed it to be justified. That little tad bit of information caused anger to race through his blood, anger towards the people that had forced her will and then broken it.

Now she was safe, now she was rescued, what would happen?

She'd been broken, her fiery spirit torn away; he'd seen that in the vacant look in her eyes while she'd been speaking to him, mostly through him. He'd seen a spark of something flicker across her eyes, but what. Hope, fear, shame, betrayal…love? Had she needed _him_ to rescue her from that place?

He'd betrayed her and she them, could they rebuild what they had once had, maybe build up more. He wouldn't know until he spoke to her but she wouldn't look at him, not since they'd got back. She just continued to stare into nothing and not at him, a look for everyone else, but not him.

Oh he knew he was being selfish, but he had been, and _would_ always be her partner, no matter what. He would do anything for her, even risking his own career and life. This much he'd proved. All he could do now was wait and see what happened. Or, he could make sure she was okay. Well, she wouldn't be okay for a long while yet but maybe, he could make her feel at least partly safe.

Turning off the computer he had been trying to work from, he grabbed his belongings and headed out of the bull pen. Nobody was around this late, bar the cleaners, so nobody would really know he'd been in because he couldn't sleep.

He couldn't get the thought out of his head that Ziva had been there so long and he hadn't been able to do anything about it, he'd thought she was dead. He was her partner, his instincts should have told him she wasn't. Maybe that was truly why he pushed to find out what had actually happened and not given up until he had found the truth. No matter what it could have been and almost was. They wouldn't have kept Ziva alive for much longer, well, she wouldn't have survived much longer if the look in her eyes was anything to go by.

He also, couldn't stop the images of finding Ziva's broken body laying on the ground or his actions in the cell having a different outcome, from running through his mind and tormenting his dreams. And it being all _his_ fault, not that it wasn't in the first place anyway. He'd forced her away when she had tried to help him. Could he really blame her if she did the same? Now, here he was, hoping that she wasn't going to do the same to him.

She'd be angry with him, but, shouldn't he be angry with her too? She'd lied to them first, told them there was nothing she knew about. Even when he'd asked her, she'd shown him how little she trusted him. He'd asked if she would tell him if she knew and she'd said no, but she'd tell Gibbs. Yes, Gibbs was the boss, but _they_, were _meant_ to be partners. Were _meant_ to watch each other's backs and trust each other. He hadn't lied to her when he said he'd been worried but she just misread his intentions and took it as jealousy.

And yes he had been jealous of the relationship that Ziva and Michael had, to start with anyway. But, it had turned into something more, concern, fear, what ever you wanted to call it. And damn it all to hell, he'd done it because he cared. _Yes, Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, caring about someone other than himself!_ As soon as Michael had killed an American Agent, he'd known that Ziva may be in danger; he'd been going to question her, as partners, as friends even. It hadn't been his fault Michael had been there and then attacked him.

Oh, he knew he shouldn't have won. _Him, _Tony DiNozzo, beating a trained Mossad Agent, _yeah right_. Even he wasn't stupid enough to believe that if Michael hadn't been drunk that he would have won. Yet, apparently he was the one taking advantage there; I mean really, it wasn't his fault that he'd been trained to protect his own life when it was in danger. Maybe, he could have only shot him in the leg or the arm- but a damned piece of glass in his side hadn't stopped him, how the hell would a bullet in a minor place have stopped him.

So she could say that he'd betrayed her all she wanted, until she was blue in the face, but at the end of the day, she'd betrayed them first. No two words about it. The lies that constructed the whole operation, when deconstructed, lead back to her and her father and the way her father told his people what to do. _Always_, had been his answer.

He didn't envy the position she'd found herself in, not one bit, after all, he'd been in the same one. Delicately spinning a web of lies, good enough to fool Gibbs and the rest of the team, and he'd hated it every time. Not that he'd had the choice. Maybe, that's what it was; maybe she hadn't had the choice either. Maybe, she wasn't responsible for her actions against them, but she was responsible for her words. And her words had shown just how much she cared for his opinion, his concern; or not as the case had been.

Damn it, he should be mad at her, she'd lied to him, lied to Gibbs and had even tried to hurt him.

But then the words came again and the vacant look in her eyes flashed past his vision. He knew he couldn't be angry at her, not after what she'd been through. I mean she was just a shadow of her self at the moment. Maybe, when she was getting back to normal then he'd be mad at her. He just couldn't right now, not now he had her back, he wouldn't, couldn't wreck that for his own sanity's sake. He'd never be able to live with himself if his unknown usual temper were to scare her, he wouldn't be able to look at the fear it may cause to fill her eyes. So he wouldn't. Not yet at least.

'_..it had to be you.' _

And he still couldn't tell if she wanted him there or not, all he knew was, at the moment the hood had been pulled off, all his anger towards her had drained, all he had wanted to do was save her, take her home. Keep her safe.

His thoughts came to a stop as he realised that he'd reached his apartment building, he'd driven in a haze, on auto-pilot. It wasn't a clever thing to do; anything could have happened with him not focusing on the road, but then, since when had he been called anything more than a childish playboy who needed to grow up. Well the better question was, when would _he_ allow them to see anymore than he showed them everyday? A better question was, when would he feel safe enough to?

The team's friendly banter seem a figment of his very active imagination, whispers of words he wanted to cling to. He longed to go back to that but knew that something would have changed. No team could survive unscathed from being split up, betrayed and fractured from each other. What kind of change he didn't know and couldn't even guess at. More like didn't want to believe things would change. Like he'd said, he saw the reality but refused to accept it. He was the wild card. You'd never know what you'd get.

Sighing and slowing getting out of his car, Tony DiNozzo's muscles ached; the events of the past few days truly catching up to him. The whole team had been given time off to recuperate and heal. He, however, had gone back to NCIS each night in attempt to write that ever looming report. Just so it could be scrutinised by the toothpick.

He tried to put into words what had happened, but failed to come up with anything that was understandable, to him it was just a thousand part puzzle of emotions and actions, what they could have done and should have done sooner. How he should feel but didn't, how he felt but shouldn't, almost didn't want to feel. In all honesty he wasn't great with the emotional side of things; more expressive than Gibbs, but not much really, not when it was too personal.

Wrapping his jacket around him tighter against the bitter chill of the September wind, he could almost hear her words floating around him, like they were apart of it. The night was clear, stark contrast to his own twirling, murky emotions.

Trudging his way up to his apartment, his steps seemed to grow heavier; exhaustion having nothing to do with it, as if to his doom. But he couldn't think why, why would going home cause him to be on alert. What could happen that hadn't already happened. He didn't know so he pushed forwards. Reaching his door, he saw a small slumped figure, resting their curly dark head of hair on his door.

It took a few seconds for the neurons to fire in his brain and recognise, that the women was none other than, Ziva David.

_TBC_

_Join me for the confrontation between Ziva and Tony and the reason why she turned up there in the first place in the next chapter. Most likely at the weekend. Enjoy. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry this is later than I said it would be, college has been crazy this week. Enjoy. _

**Chapter two **

"_Tony, why, are you here?"_

"_Couldn't live without ya, I guess." _

The only question on her haunted mind was why?

Why couldn't he live without her? What had she done to deserve someone caring that much for her?

If he did care as much as he did then why did he hurt her? Why did he kill Michael?

But then, remembering all the looks and the words he had spoken; seeing _everything _in a new light. She knew. Just simply knew. He loved her. But again the question was why?

She'd not trusted him, when she knew he valued that more than anything else, especially after everything this year. What are you suppose to do if you can no longer trust anyone, or the ones who you did, have used it for their own ways and objectives. But surely, Tony wasn't malicious enough to, but she didn't know what to believe. Not anymore.

But then…his lack of trust in her wasn't misplaced and _was_ deserved, everything justified. She made the mistake. That is what they'd told her, forced her to believe.

She'd accused him of something that was possible for him but this time it hadn't been his intention… but yet, if his intentions had been pure of heart then Michael wouldn't be dead and she wouldn't have ended up tortured for months.

And the pain of losing someone, someone who she'd taken the chance to get close to, pushed back the feeling of love that had creeped into her still fragile mind and soul. She couldn't take that chance again so soon could she, better question was should she? Was it the right thing to feel after everything? Was it worth the risk?

She hated not being so sure, she is…was a highly trained Mossad assassin, for lack for a better word. What would happen now, could she go home, where was home.

She'd said it herself, Washington D.C wasn't her home, but now not even her home was truly that. Her home was with them, with him, she'd known that the second the dusty, scratchy hood had been removed and looked into his eyes. They weren't clear, most likely full of drugs but, they were there, they were his and as the stuttered conversation wore on, she caught at a strand of hope in the back of her mind.

The less spoken about her own father, the better. Had he sent her with the purpose of being captured, or had he just used to as the means to an end, like he'd used Michael. Even Ari, her brother, was family not important, had it ever been? When she had told Tony all them years ago that Tali had been the best of them, she hadn't been wrong.

Breathing deeply to calm her rising emotions, she needed to find her control again, had to before all the emotions tore apart her mind. The chaotic thoughts; feelings, words, actions, _everything_, each of them fighting for there own control over her. Not knowing what was true, what was a fabrication of the torture she'd endured? Wondering who would protect her now….

Anger found its way through the chaotic mess of emotions, since when had she needed protection, and since when had she been so weak. Again it would be justified if she died, they would no longer have any use for her now she had been broken and she knew it.

A single tear had escaped her eyes as he asked if she could fight. She couldn't and she knew that too…but she wanted, needed to…but then didn't, everything all came down to one thing, it was justified, deserved, for hurting the team, for wanting to kill Tony.

Yet…that had been justified as well, Tony had killed the first person she'd cared for deeply for years. Neither she nor he could change what he'd done; it would always be there, always eating away at him. For some sadistic reason it made her smile, he shouldn't have killed Michael.

_Simpler, he shouldn't have won. They both knew it. _

But then…he would have actually let her, he'd given her reason, means and opportunity. And she hadn't, because, she knew in the back of her mind he wouldn't have hurt her on purpose and had only been fighting for his life. She almost felt guilty for saying what she had; telling him his life was worthless. He'd just lain there, just waiting for her to pull the trigger…but she couldn't. That would be defeating the purpose of wanting, needing someone to care for her as much as she had for them…so she hadn't.

She hadn't because she'd seen the truth behind his word in his eyes at the time, now, she understood that, he, Tony DiNozzo, had cared for her. He'd even said he'd been worried and she'd thrown it back in his face not wanting him to get too close. Now, he'd said he couldn't live with out her and maybe; that was all she had needed to hear, to know that everything may be okay between them in the future.

Shuffling around her apartment she cursed her own weakness, looking around the newly decorated rooms she wondered whether she, like the paint, was just covering up what had happened and how she really felt. But, you can't cover up that kind of….whatever it was, she no longer knew.

And that is was scared her, it wasn't the fact she was alone and seemed weak, it was the not knowing what to do or where she actually belonged anymore.

The walls, all of a sudden, seemed to close around her and her breathing hitched a little, the first flutters of panic rose within her weary body. She needed sleep, needed to rest peacefully, without nightmares. Somewhere safe. As she had said to Gibbs months ago; this place, apartment, whatever it was now, wasn't her home. So where could she go, who would have her after the hurt she'd caused them.

Wisps of a memory came back to her, her and Tony had grown close while Gibbs had been retired, they'd become great friends and when he thought she'd need comfort he had always been there, watching her back, looking out for her and she could remember a time where she had felt fully safe in his presence. Like nothing in the world could bother or interfere with her life when he had been with her.

The events of the past year had been hard on them all, however, it had seemed that even when the team was falling apart and couldn't trust each other, he'd still only been looking out for her, had her back. _Always._ Even though she hadn't deserved anything from him, especially his care and concern, not after what she'd done and said to him.

Her decision made, she escaped the suffocating atmosphere of the apartment she had moved back into.

_TBC_

_The conversation/confrontation will be in the next chapter, I just wanted to get this out so you all still knew I was working on it. Please read and review as always! _


	3. Chapter 3

_So sorry for not updating this for ages, I had hoped to have this finished before now. Hope you all still like it. _

**Chapter 3 **

Shaking his head from the doom that had descended upon it, Tony took a calming breath and looked again at the scene before him. Ziva seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Her hair covering half her face, a little scruffy, just the way he liked it. The small smile playing upon his lips wanted to break out into a grin but the situation didn't call for it.

Not wanting to wake her from what looked like a restful slumber, Tony just watched her for a few moments. Imagining what it would have been like if he hadn't of fallen in love with someone else, if the team hadn't been strewn across the world, if he hadn't killed the only other person he knew Ziva seemed to have trusted.

It hurt him to think that she didn't trust him but then, could he really blame her, he _had_ seemed rather jealous of the fact that she was seeing Michael. He was surprised that she could even be near him at the moment. So why was she here now? To finish what Michael had started? To tell him that she would rather leave than work with him? He didn't know and at the moment, he didn't care.

All he _did_ care about was that she was right in front of his apartment and she was safe, even if she could never look at him again. He would always be there for her, even if she hated him. With that in mind he ever so gently picked her up as not to wake her, quietly opened the door and carried her inside. All the while, trying not to get caught up in her womanly scent; which would make any man go weak at the knees.

Upon entering his apartment he saw the disarray he'd left it in, taking note to fix it he walking through to his room and placed her down on to his bed. He wasn't going to be using it any time soon anyway. Not if the previous nights were anything to go by. Plagued by nightmares wasn't his favourite way of spending the night.

Settling down for the night on his sofa he sighed and turned to TV on, hoping to catch a late re-run of a film he enjoyed. It took him a few moment to realise that he was being watched and when he did he switched the TV back off and knew that their conversation now would affect their working relationship and even friendship…if they still had one that was.

They both took a good look at each other and knew that neither of them had been sleeping much recently. Though _that_ subject they knew wouldn't be touched tonight.

Ziva was the one who started the conversation, her voice calmer than it had been previously when in a room with him.

"Why did you bring me in here, Tony?" She asked trying to hide her embarrassment at falling asleep and not noticing she'd been moved.

He couldn't help himself, smiling his mega watt smile and spread his arms wide for effect. "Rescuing the damsel in distress of course."

Anger filled her for an unknown reason and she spoke without thinking. "For once in your entire life will you stop joking, Tony; and take this seriously!" she yelled, he never took anything seriously, and she wondered why she had even bothered to come here. Darkness filled his eyes only to be replaced with a pain she didn't know the cause of. Had it been caused by her?

"Oh believe me Ziva, I am taking this _very_ seriously." His voice was calm, collected even, but held a venom she had only heard once before; after the war game that had gone to hell. He turned away as if he'd been burned by her words and started to walk away from her.

Dismayed, she wondered why what she had said had affected him like it had. Giving in to the urge to follow she tried to speak but he turned and cut her off before she could start.

"You know," he drawled, paused as if for effect, and then continued, "Just because I joke all the time, doesn't mean that I can't do anything else."

"But you are always making inappropriate jokes, even at crime scenes." She could almost see the frustration rise within him as he started to yell back.

"Maybe it was to lighten the mood in the midst of everything that we have seen! Did you ever think that or did you only judge me on what I let you see!" He immediately quietened; knowing he'd said too much and wondered when the direction of the conversation had changed and how.

And this she'd already known all this; known that most of what Tony showed to the team was a façade. Except now she thought about it, his care for her. And it muddled up her feelings more, they shouldn't be fighting, they were meant to be partners.

They were both stuck for what to say next, neither used to apologising first, neither used to having such and tense and awkward silence between them. And they both wondered how the simple conversation had gone so wrong so fast.

As the silence stretched for a moment and then longer all that could be heard were the dull shuffling of people in the next apartment, both of the Agents' breaths and the sound of the evening traffic coming from the slightly open window. Tony was the first to break the silence but she barely heard the question through the mumbled words he spoke.

"Why did you come here?"

And she honestly didn't know how to answer _that _question. She had been trying to answer it all night. Her mouth seemed to take control of her thoughts when she replied, practically emotionless.

"I am sorry, I will leave." He flinched as if he'd been struck and even she was surprised at the words. Why did she keep hurting him? He'd had only wanted to protect her, why couldn't she let him?

'_Damn it, I didn't mean it like that' Tony screamed in his head. 'I didn't mean I wanted you to leave. Stay!' _

She started to walk away from him but a hand on her arm caused her to jump a little and her reactions caused her to grab his arm and push him up against the closest wall. She saw a little flare of panic in his eyes and wanted to smile but knew it was wrong to. The wince in his expression stopped her; she was hurting him and didn't know why nor had she wanted to. The finality in the way he spoke his next words twisted her heart in a way she didn't think it could be twisted anymore.

"Go on, finish it." They both knew he wasn't one to give up like that but she had been just as surprised by this as she had been when he'd admitted that he'd needed her and couldn't live without her.

She let him go and simply walked out of his apartment. She caught a few words before she left.

"Ziva wait, I didn't…" But the rest was cut off by the door she'd closed behind her.

***

"Damn it!" Tony yelled.

Tony punched the door a moment after it had closed, why had he been such an idiot, always having something stupid to say. He knew why but it didn't make it all better, not in the slightest. He slid down the door, his back to it and buried his head in his hands.

Should he go after her? Would she _want_ him to? If she hadn't wanted him to then, why would she now?

Getting a feeling deep in his gut he got up, grabbed his keys, and tried to catch up with her…

TBC

_I know this wasn't much of a confrontation yet or very long but I hope you all like it all the same. I am slowly getting back to writing these stories and am half way through chapters for 'Best Forgotten' and 'My Precious'. And woop, only 2 exams left now so will have lots of time to write them. Thanks for reading and please review. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Sadly this is the last chapter of this story. I hope you have all enjoyed it and that this doesn't disappoint. Sorry about the wait for the chapter, this story was originally meant to have 2 or 3 parts but it wanted to be a little longer. Thanks everyone for the reviews for this. I am however; thinking about a Sequel so let me know if I should. Thanks all for reading and please review!!!_

**Chapter 4 **

"_Why did you come here?"_

The question twirled in her mind. Why _had_ she gone there?

And again she knew that answer too, she felt safe with him. Even if he did make jokes all the time. Even if he wasn't serious. He was when he needed to be and that was enough for her.

That was when she realised that she didn't need, nor _want_ serious at the moment, what she needed was for everything to go back to what it had once been. Where she didn't have to think about the previous months.

She needed exactly what Tony had been giving her.

Normalcy.

That's why she'd gone to him, he would try and cheer her up in his own way, and she remembered in the past it had worked, even in the direst of situations.

She'd go to Abby but she'd worry too much and force her to tell everything for the sake of expelling? Was that the idiom?

She knew Ducky would listen; but also that he would tell his stories that meant more than they seemed on the surface and she would say something she didn't want anyone to know, not even Tony.

McGee, he would try but it would come out all awkward and he wouldn't know what to say to her having not really experiencing the worse of what people could actually do. She'd seen his growth but she didn't think he was yet ready to face that barbaric reality.

Gibbs, not a man known for conversation filled with burning emotions would try to be nice or may want her to tell him why she had forced him to decide all those months ago. A question she could no longer remember the answer to.

So why was her own mind stopping her from telling Tony that she wanted him to be there to protect her, why was it telling him things that hurt him? That hurt her in return seeing the pain in his eyes when he was only trying to help. Why had she wanted to hurt him in his own apartment when all he had done was what she needed?

Why had he almost let her kill him again? Why did that prospect scare her so? She'd been so close that she could have watched the life drain from his bright eyes. But, they hadn't been bright in so long she'd noticed when she'd been looking into them, trying to find traces or hints of a lie in his words. Only he would be able to tell her the answers she wanted.

She turned around to find she'd walked further then she thought; lost in her own mind, trying to find a reason for her actions.

Also, _he_ was standing there.

Looking tired and worn down, just like she felt. A soft wind whipped around her and through her hair, ruffling the curls lightly. It was night but the moonlight and the stars provided them with ample illumination to discuss what they needed.

She almost smiled in spite of the tension between them; it was a scene she had seen in one of his cowboy movies he loved so much. He'd forced her to watch one once and she'd found she enjoyed it, even if he gave a running commentary of it. Maybe it was that which she enjoyed, not necessarily the movie.

They spoke at the same time.

"Ziva, I'm sorry…"

"Tony…"

He indicated that she should speak first with a nod of his head.

"Why did you let me hurt you? Why didn't you stop me?"

She shook her trivial thoughts away; this needed sorting out, _tonight._ This was the one thing she couldn't understand. Why didn't he stop her? But he'd never needed to apologize, she knew why he'd done what he had, and that she would have done the same if their roles had been reversed.

He looked directly at her as he spoke the words of his reply tenderly. "Because you were and still are angry, you need to vent somehow. If I can help you do that, I will do it every day."

_Vent!_ That was the word she'd been looking for before. But that didn't matter now…

_But no! _

It was vital that everything was normal; she needed him to be her constant, her rock, like he'd always been. Why was this such a catastrophe? Why couldn't she say what she really wanted? She knew he meant it, he said it so gently, but she didn't want to be treated that way. Anger boiled up within her.

"I do not need you!" She shouted. But it was a lie, she did need him, well, want him. She expected him to walk away, to leave her standing there in the moonlight alone, like she'd always been.

But he stood even closer; and she found her body not even trying to back away from him when he was standing merely a foot away. Her anger at being so weak turned to unshed tears in her eyes, though she would never allow them to fall, not when he was here.

With her emotions swirling faster then she could comprehend a single tear fell at his next words; spoken with such care that there was no room for doubt in her mind that he had done everything he knew how, for her. Even if it hadn't turned out the way either of them had wanted it.

"You don't have to be alone anymore."

Then she felt arms around her. She started to fight but they held her firm against his steady heartbeat.

Oh how she wanted to be angry at that but maybe…Maybe, what she needed was to not try and pretend everything was the same, at least for a little while. He was making it okay for her to lose a little control. She knew that for all his talk; he would never speak about it and the feeling warm her through to her heart.

She stopped her struggles and allowed her self to truly feel safe in his arms. He broke her thought process and when he spoke, she could feel the vibrations of his deep voice against her face.

"Why did you come to me, Ziva?"

And now she knew the answer.

It all fit together, all he had done was try to protect her, even if she hadn't wanted it. He had always known what she needed, even before she did.

"Because you have always had my back." Her voice trembled a little due to the cold but she was sincere and she could almost feel when he smiled and lightly placed a kiss on her forehead.

In return she looked up into his eyes. The light had returned and he looked less worn out than before. It seemed as if she was lighter and she placed a soft kiss upon his lips.

Tony realised that it had to have been him to rescue her and that she had needed him to. Because they both felt the same and always had. Even if it had taken a good few years, countless arguments, and their own separate trials to admit it.

It wouldn't be easy but if anything else came up they would deal with it then. Including Gibbs; but for now they had a couple of days to recuperate and decide how they wanted this to go.

_The End. _


End file.
